Dragged up by a gogo-dancing alcoholic and 'rescued' from a life of vice by Jehovah's Witnesses, Ophelia Bitz fought her stage-bound destiny as long as possible. But some things you just can't escape...A tale of false eyelashes, religion and the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd. Libelous anecdotes from Ophelia's career as one of the UK's top cabaret artists merge with fictional wanderings, audience participation cunnilingus workshops and a serious Marlene Dietrich fixation....

Clashing songs from Randy Newman, Kurt Weill, Flanders & Swann and Dolly Parton (plus several startling original numbers) with story-telling and physical comedy, Ophelia Bitz's caustic, over-sexed and utterly silly comic style has won her praise and recognition on stages and soap-boxes all over the world.

“ Bitz may have the mouth of a filthy gutter-slut be she can sing like an angel" Time Out

“ Dirty, witty, fabulous. Ophelia Bitz is f*cking hilarious” Martyn Jaques, Tigerlillies

“ A stunning zaftig cherub” The Independent