John decided to become a comedian when he was only eight years old. He pursued this career path with gusto and verve until he learned it meant being funny, and wanted out.
Having the developed the resources of panic attacks, phobias, ocd, and catastrophic thinking to fall back on, John ploughed his way to the top, where his career pinnacled in him bombing at the Havana Laugh Club in Windsor in front of an elderly lady and a barman who was too busy serving in another room to notice.
To go back a few years previous to this success...
Apparently the BBC also noticed comedy might be the arena for his inadequacies to be less apparent to the world, and invited him to write for the Two Ronnies when he was just 16. John declined as he'd sent his sketches in written in pencil and only had a reply from the Head of Comedy and expected more from the BBC than merely writing for the Two Ronnies with writers such as John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Jones and John Sullivan.
After this disappointment, John became suicidal.
For the next six years he was very quite, and when he was 21 wrote a period comedy called Peril On The Pacific in a half hour in a pub, which the BBC had the temerity to suggest turning into a six part series. John declined.
With such winning flexibility and insight, John hid in his room for the next 25 years.
Then in 2007 John ventured out to do the Amused Moose comedy showcase, where Hils Jago gave the feedback his set was "excellent." With the complements of other performers and audience, John responded to this by seizing the opportunity - venturing boldly from the venue, with great confidence and verve, and hid in his room.
In 2014 John came out of his room to perform some of his sketches at the Nogg Inn in Wincanton, with his minion Linda Connors. The compare responded by saying their act was "amazing." Then John went and hid in his room.