Groucho Marx famously said, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." Michael Welch likes this phrase a lot, but what does he know - he's been banned from every club in Aberdeen. Mr Welch is an ethnically ambiguous stand-up comic who grew up in Edinburgh. He has been active since September 2017 (both comedically and sexually, he hastens to add) and since then has played gigs across the U.K - even as far afield as Berlin and the U.S. Blessedly, he escaped from the latter before they could determine what race he was. After enjoying a career in decidedly fuck-all (2:1 in History, honours) amongst the denizens of a treacherous cultural tundra which some know, and more forget about (Aberdeen), Welch now attempts to adjust to the normality of productive life. You know...Work and that. However, when he occasions to inebriate himself in the pursuit of truth, and take to the stage, his surreal and picaresque stories expound on the absurdity of our unquestioned social customs and prejudices. It has been brought to his attention that this amounts to observational comedy. However, he feels as if that description isn't adequately grand or polysyllabic to define "what happens when I'm up there tell jokes & stuff." Or, in more succinct terms - when asked why he does comedy, Mr Welch replies simply that, "I've always been quite fond of writing lists on my hands.